Advantages and disadvantages of women proposing marriage - FOX 26 News | MyFoxHouston

Advantages and disadvantages of women proposing marriage

Posted: Updated:
Mary Jo Rapini Mary Jo Rapini
HOUSTON (FOX 26) -

If you’ve gone to a wedding lately there is more than an 87 percent chance the groom and his bride will tell you all about the engagement. How he thought of something ingenious to ask for her hand in marriage. However, there are a small percentage of women who do propose to their partner, and although three fourths of Americans polled think it’s fine if the woman proposes, less than 5 percent actually do.

Same sex marriages usually both propose and decide together. One fourth of all couples who married thirty years or more decided by mutual agreement to get married, and for those married less than ten years, men proposed 80% of the time according to AP-We TV polls.

Why shouldn’t women propose, especially if they’re the primary breadwinner, want children before they turn 35 years old and feel ready to settle down? After all, a women’s feeling good about marriage is a predictor for marital happiness.

When to get married and who is going to propose are things couples should talk about. If you do decide to go against tradition or take a different path, there are benefits and obstacles to consider. Below are the pros and cons of women asking the one they love to join them in marriage.

Pros

· It shows your commitment to your partner that you chose them above all others enough to be direct and propose marriage.

· You can make it the wedding or proposal of your dreams because you are planning it.

· It will fit your schedule because you are planning it.

· You are setting up a future relationship style where you are not afraid to make the big decisions.

· You are telling your partner and friends that you are not afraid to go against tradition.

Cons

· Your partner may say no or they may not like the directness of your asking.

· You may be enabling him to make big decisions in the future.

· The engagement ring becomes a source of contention…who buys it?

· It may be awkward when your friends and family find out, because society may not reinforce your non-traditional thinking.

· Monogamy isn’t natural and that is why you make a conscious commitment. Men mature later than women, and if you ask him, you may rush him into a commitment he isn’t ready to make.

My advice: Before you get married talk about it. Make a plan. Marriages that have mutual agreement score higher on every category of marital success and contentment. Who proposes isn’t as important as the underlying commitment and love for each other. The majority of guys really do try to make the engagement special. In fact, most guys get more attention for how they proposed than they do at the wedding ceremony. Why take marital proposals away from guys when it is their opportunity to shine?

– Mary Jo Rapini

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