5 Signs You’ve Settled for a Broken Relationship - Houston weather, traffic, news | FOX 26 | MyFoxHouston

5 Signs You’ve Settled for a Broken Relationship

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Do you get up in the morning knowing you are in a relationship that isn't right for you? Your parents advise you to stick it out, and your friends remind you how difficult single life is, but still at a gut level you know your relationship is not good for you. How did you get into the position of settling for less than you deserve to have a relationship? You knew it would be work, but you also know it's broken and you cannot fix it.

New research from Stephanie S. Spielman, P.HD suggests that fear of being alone is a good predictor for settling in a relationship. Dr. Spielman goes on to say that fear of being alone causes individuals to stay with unresponsive, resistant to being held accountable, and less than attractive partners rather than being alone. A fear of being alone is also associated with making poor choices in partners and speed dating with recklessness.

There is a stigma single women face, and it's deep-rooted using stereotypes from long ago when women who were alone were called lonely spinsters or old maids. There seems to be an inherent sadness others project on to women who are alone. Single life isn't a prison sentence, nor is it a party. It's simply life and that includes good days and bad days.

While it's true relationships do require work, it is also true that relationships take two who are invested. If you are with someone who is no longer invested in the relationship and has decided they no longer care about you enough to work on the relationship, then you have settled for less than you deserve.

Moments of truth happen when we decide to be honest with ourselves and not let what others say influence our decisions. If you have one of the five below, there is a very high likelihood that you have settled for less than you deserve. Deciding to leave or stay is never an easy decision. When a marriage is involved and/or children, professional help is always highly recommended.  Only you can get out of a broken relationship, just as only you can stay in one.

  1. Your partner is abusive. You cannot fix your partner. If you continue to stay in a relationship with someone who is emotionally, sexually or physically abusive, you are staying in a very sick system. Leave and if you have kids, take them with you.
  2. Your partner is an addict who is in denial and won't get help. The number one key to recovery is admitting you have a problem. You cannot love someone's addiction away.
  3. You met your partner while they were married and you were having an affair with them. This relationship is built on lies and secrets.
  4. Your partner has cheated on you several times and you keep taking them back.
  5. Your partner won't accept you without you constantly making changes and accommodations to please them.

Leaving your partner does not mean your life will instantly improve. You've made changes in order to survive in a broken relationship for a long time. Getting back to your real healthy self will take time and

 

Soul-searching. When we are troubled we seek others' advice. We stop listening to ourselves. Healing and hope begin again when we listen to our own voice and follow what we know is right for us. The more confident you become in understanding your own needs and desires, the more likely you will make better choices with who you allow into your life. The single life is an opportunity to become more acquainted and admirable of the person you've become.  –Mary Jo Rapini

 

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Mind, Body, Soul with Mary Jo happens every Monday and Thursday morning 9 A.M. CST on Fox 26 Morning News.

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