Most of us find it easy to see where our partner has fallenshort with being a great partner. We may point our finger at their ability tolisten or share their feelings. We may find fault in the way they let themselvesgo or live an unhealthy lifestyle. No matter whom you are with, seeing faultsacross the table is much easier than looking at them in the mirror.
I have seven mini evaluations you may want to questionwithin yourself. If you don't know what to get your partner this Valentine's Day,sending them a card admitting areas you fall short in, and then telling themhow you are going to improve may be the best Valentine gift you have given themin a long while.
Am I still making therelationship a priority? Part of making a relationship a priority means youadd to the relationship. This can look like adding adventure in the bedroom,and doing little things to add connection and passion back to the relationshipflame.
Am I still interestedand growing in the relationship? If you have let go of your interests andlet routine take over in your life, then you're contributing to the boredomthat may accompany your relationship. Being in a relationship means keeping upwith your interests and continuing to change, allowing you to grow with yourpartner.
Am I still lookinggood and dressing with care? Attraction is an important part of arelationship. No matter how long you and your partner have been together,letting go of this area causes problem.
Do you carry unmetexpectations that cause you to be resentful? Held in emotions is neverwise, and they can lead to the unraveling of relationships. If you areexpecting your partner to know something or pick up on subtle cues when youaren't able to directly tell them, then you are not being fair, nor are youhelping your relationship grow.
Are you willing totry new and novel things with your partner? Taking classes, going on retreatsand trying new experiences is a relationship booster. This is many timesperceived as rejection from your partner.
Are you open andembracing to your partner's friends and/or family? Being exclusive withyour partner is suffocating and can leave your relationship unstable.
Is your partnerallowed to have time alone with friends or activities that don't include you?This is important for keeping the relationship vibrant.
The great thing about being a great partner is, no matterwhat happens in the relationship, you won't have the guilt of believing if onlyyou had -- you cannot control your partner, but you can control yourself andwhat you contribute to the relationship! Have a great Valentine's Day!
– MaryJo Rapini