10 questions to ask before you leave your spouse for someone new - Houston weather, traffic, news | FOX 26 | MyFoxHouston

10 questions to ask before you leave your spouse for someone new

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One in three couples divorce due to extramarital affairs. A small percentage of these split couples go on to marry the person they have an affair with. Most will tell their ex that the affair did not cause their divorce, but rather brought issues to the forefront that hadn't been dealt with before.

During an affair neither of the participants engaged in the affair are thinking clearly, and this is one reason when couples split due to an affair there is often regret. The odds of having a successful marriage with the person you have an affair with are grimmer than the chances you had at being successful with your marriage. Despite this knowledge couples still cheat on their spouse, and they still opt for marrying their partner in the affair.

If you are having an affair and considering leaving your spouse for the new love in your life, here are questions you may want to consider and ask yourself prior to leaving.

The term soul mate is older than the soul. What the term usually means is an intense connection. It is novel, emotional, often sexual and lustful. No one is thinking rational in this stage. Lust and novelty are both strongly addictive.

When you are in a more rational mind ask yourself what sort of a person dates or has an affair with someone they know is married. One thing is clear; they are comfortable with lying and adultery. That includes emotional affairs as well.

Have you asked yourself what this person will be like when you aren't only seeing their good side? It's easy to impress someone when you only see him or her secretly, and don't have to clean up after them or live with them.

Are you bored with your marriage or are you boring and blaming the marriage? Projecting boredom onto the marriage is unfair if you aren't bringing any interest to the relationship.

If you have kids, is your ability to have a relationship with someone new more important than their stability and happiness?

Is this new person who will lie and cheat with a married person going to make a great stepparent?

If this person will cheat with you, and you are married, how do you know they won't cheat on you with someone married?

Is this new person worth losing half of your finances?

Is this new person worth losing your friends, and your reputation as a loving spouse and parent? You will lose friends as well as family.

If your child decides they hate you and never feels trusting of you again, is this person worth that loss?

When you leave your spouse for your lover there is no way of going back. The trust, faith and everything else you were perceived to be changes. If you believe that you love your new lover, the most loving act you can do is to say goodbye to them and work on restoring your marriage or ending it honestly. There's a reason marriages to the lover frequently fail. Think before you find yourself in that situation.

– Mary Jo Rapini

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