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Secrets Women Keep From Their Partners

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It's never wise to keep secrets from one another, but most women keep a few. In fact, as many as 61% of women say they take their secrets to the grave. According to a recent survey done by, over 900 married women were asked about secrets they kept from their spouse and over 80% of women said their secrets revolve around embarrassing personal things, and 50% of all women reported that they secretly snooped in their partner's belongings.  For the most part, these secrets are not malicious or relationship threatening nor are they necessary. One of the biggest secrets is how much money women actually spend on themselves. Although every woman has been known to fib about the budget once in awhile, this doesn't change even if the woman is the main breadwinner. So why do women keep secrets from their partner?

According to relationship experts, secrets are kept due to feelings of guilt or disappointing their partner. Keeping secrets later becomes habitual. Secrets can become a problem when they involve lies in order to cover up devious acts. Most marital or relationship secrets women keep are of the benign type. However, if you begin feeling as though telling the truth would threaten your relationship, it is a good idea to seek professional help for your relationship.

The most common secrets, according to relationship experts, that women keep from their partners are listed below.

  1. Women actually do think about sex, but not the way men do. Women don't think about nudity as much as men, but they do think about the romance, foreplay and fantasy. Don't believe me? The number one book sales are romance novels; women buy and read the majority of those books.
  2. Monogamy and commitment is as difficult for women as it is for men, which is a reason both men and women have to commit. Women worry about getting tied down just as guys do, but usually for very different reasons.
  3. Women are strong and capable, but women still want their man to be the man.
  4. Women tell their girlfriends many things, but not as much as guys think or worry they do.
  5. Women will never tell their husband the amount of time they fret about being judged in bed or compared to his ex.  
  6. Women will never tell the truth about their ex lovers, but they may tell their girlfriends.
  7. Women worry that you look at them and see their mother or even worse, yours.
  8. Women brag about their husbands and what they do for them all the time. Rarely do women mention this to their husbands.
  9. Women worry that their partner's lack of desire means they are flawed.

10.  Women feel a sense of pride if their guy gets a little jealous, but they are turned off if they are a rager or start a fight.

Most women I have worked with keep secrets because they believe the information is trivial or they don't want to hurt their partner. Secrets can also enhance a relationship. Women give so much to their partners and families, so having information that is theirs helps them feel more in control of their lives. –Mary Jo Rapini


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Tags: Secrets Women Keep, Marriage, Lying, Relationships

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