The ratio of new marriages to divorce is 2:1 according to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention). That means for every two marriages that occur there is one divorce. Divorce ranked number 5 among 200 countries surveyed by the United Nations Statistics Division. Why is our divorce rate so high in America? The issue is complicated, but according to one expert, the reason has a lot to do with how many partners you have dated previous to marriage.
Hellen Chen who is a matchmaker and divorce expert believes that newlyweds carry their dating history into their wedded bliss. The more partners men and women dated the more likely they had an attitude of "the next one will be better." Marriage is forever, but it cannot survive with this type of attitude. The more you date, the more you begin believing in a soul mate or a perfect connection, and everyone married for more than two years understands that marriage isn't about perfection, but about working together. Choosing a partner you can work with should be the exercise or object of dating if you want to get married. Knowing how they handle conflict, what their relationship with their parents is, and how they handle money is more valuable than finding someone the right height, weight, and good looking. However, when dating, if you are always thinking of the next one, the real issues don't have time to be worked on or talked about. Many young couples getting married don't find out their fiancé's parent's situation until the invites are being ordered. This issue in and of itself is highly correlated with the prospects of your own marital future.
If you want a great marriage, you must prioritize it, and spend time together after the marriage. Getting married isn't a goal to be reached and then tucked away. A marriage is alive and becomes bigger than both the husband and the wife alone. Dating too many partners can influence your marriage in a derogative way, but dating your spouse is positive and works wonders in keeping your marriage close. Dating implies getting to know your partner better, and no matter how long you have known your spouse if you remain curious in regards to their feelings about recent happenings you can continue to grow closer to them. This is true after fifty years of marriage. Most marital experts recommend at least one date night a month for married couples. To date infrequently is better than not at all, but once a week will show more interest for your partner and also prioritize your relationship.
Dating your spouse is about falling in love with your marriage. Movies capitalize on romantic love, and this sort of love is important. But if movies wanted to improve marriage and families, they would focus on helping viewers understand the benefits and commitment marriage requires. Falling in love with your marriage will not only improve your love for your spouse, it will help to secure emotionally healthy children. –Mary Jo Rapini
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