Facebook a Factor in Infidelity

HOUSTON - After two decades apart, Merla Lara re-discovered the guy that's made her life great again.

Neither was married when the magic struck. Call it the fabulous effect of social networks like Facebook.

"Now that we've connected we are actually in love and living together," says Merla. "I'm grateful not only for all the love that I've found, but for all the people I've connected with and the friendship you feel."

Trouble is, a whole bunch of folks are apparently hunting for that romantic fix on Facebook instead of fixing the permanent, but damaged relationships they are already in. Therapist Mary Jo Rapini puts it plainly.

"If you are married and you are having a relationship with someone else on Facebook, you are asking for a divorce," she insists.

A national survey of matrimonial lawyers has found "Facebooking" and the serious flirtation that often follows is now a factor in one out of every five divorces. Rapini says those who engage in virtual flings are sabotaging what's left of a relationship that they'd once promised would be life-long.

"They are asking to get caught and they do this on Facebook all the time. Both men and women do it, both men and women cheat," she said.

Despite her own positive experience, Lara agrees that Facebook has facilitated the meltdown of a growing number of marriages.

"I have several friends right now who are kind of in that situation and one is actually about to get a divorce, so I've seen both sides of the spectrum," says Lara.

Her unprofessional, but heart felt advice:

"It's not always greener on the other side, it just appears that way."

Rapini says married couples who want to build trust and promote healing should share a single password to social networking accounts.